First sight

What does a lonely heart say to the morning of a new year? Must my mind drown my sorrows in yet another indulgence in optimism? Is it that simple? One more 24 hours of trying to convince myself that lonely is simply a state of mind. Or could it be, that today, my hope could be dispatched by faith?

I have come a long way in my understanding of love over the past year. I have learned many things both pleasant, and unpleasant. I have faced many fears, many failures, and many triumphs. My greatest triumphs of this most recent trail are those of acceptance. Accepting life as it is and as it comes Sometimes by shear willfulness, and other times by peaceful faith. The most blessed of these moments have been the ones when my ego fell silent, stunned by the infinite compassion of the universe, instead of fueled by the endless, deafening rhetoric of Sansara.

The blessings of life are found not in the words, but in the silence between them. Love lurks in my heart, not hiding, from the world, more like obscured from the world. It begs to find purchase in the heart of another, that great connection of soul that only the poets think they know.

The love of the poets comes with torture, and psychic mayhem, whereas my ideal, knows only purity and light. I refuse to dismiss this to the false hope of polyandrous musings.

And that is my groove for the new year. One can only love another to the extent that one can love ones self.

I love thee
I love myself
I bless thee
I bless myself
I release thee
I release myself
I set the free
I set myself free
                      ~ Buddhist Blessing

First Thoughts

Given the experiences of my life, especially some of the more recent,  I am still not convinced that living happily ever after with somebody is possible, or even desirable.  However, as with all things ethereal, I will never know unless I try...